Creative Ways to Engage
June is Brain Health Awareness Month. Throughout the month, we will explore different topics and perspectives, learning different ways to engage with our brain health along the way. For more information about Brain Health Awareness, click here.
The presence of Alzheimer’s or dementia in a person’s life changes so much – routines, mental health, even physical health. A person’s daily landscape alters in significant ways over time, and one of the most complicated things we must relearn as loved ones or caregivers is how to engage with one another in meaningful ways once the progression of Alzheimer’s or dementia has changed things. This can be particularly challenging to navigate, especially as change becomes the norm.
Today, we’ll look at a few different ways to creatively engage even when the landscape has shifted. From activities that soothe your desire for days gone-by to artistic outlets for creative expression, having a few ideas in your toolkit can make a significant difference when you’re building a bridge of connectivity to your loved ones.
Art & Crafts
Creating art together is an excellent way to connect with your loved ones. The beautiful thing about art and dementia is that skill levels are relative. Abstract painting, with some soothing music on in the background, can be especially grounding. In abstract art, anything goes. You and your loved one may be skilled artists or have no artistic background at all. There’s nothing to lose and everything to gain when you are able to lean into the process together and simply go where the brush leads you.
If your loved one living with dementia is still partially independent, they may not need much guidance. If the dementia is a bit more progressed, however, you might find that they need help getting paint on the brush or getting the brush on the canvas. There’s a lot of opportunity for connection in this way as you gently guide your loved ones brush, hand in hand, to create a truly meaningful work of art. All the while, you’re spending quality time together.
The Great Outdoors
Spending time outside is valuable for all of us and can be especially invigorating for people with dementia. In safe environments, outdoor exploration is a wonderful backdrop for spending quality time engaging with your loved one as you experience the beauty of nature. Consider taking a walk through a local botanical garden, stopping to smell the flowers, or even planting a small garden together. If mobility is limited, another option is to sit out on the porch together, enjoying the warmth of the sun or the cool breeze. Time spent outside presents lots of potential dialogue about this bird or that flower, without any expectation that your loved one needs to recall anything specific in order to participate fully.
Nostalgia
For people with dementia, it can be heartwarming to reminisce. Maybe they want to share a story with you about days gone by, try to play a card game they used to love, or browse through old photo albums. No matter how much time has passed, or what details may get muddied as dementia progresses, all of the bits and pieces of our stories are important. Relishing things that matter to your loved one is a powerful way to build a bridge between then and now; between them and you.
It's Complicated
Even with a variety of activities in your toolkit, the progressive nature of Alzheimer’s and dementia can make even the most familiar activities or stories a challenge to engage with. As you spend time trying to connect with your loved one, it’s important to remember that the end product isn’t most important here. It’s true that the abstract art could look a little wonky, your grandmother might’ve forgotten that she likes begonias, or your dad might not remember exactly how to play the card game you’ve played together for the past twenty years. Your reaction to these moments can influence so much about your time together. In the moment, it will go a long way if you make the choice to adapt to these changes. Akin to chameleons, we shift to fit this new environment. If mom had a tough time painting, lament with her. I found this to be a bit of a challenge, too, but I’m glad we faced it together! If your dad forgot about the cardinal you saw on your walk this morning, don’t make a big deal out of it. The important thing is the time spent in one another’s presence.
A landscape altered by dementia is not an easy one to adjust to. It’s heartbreaking, and yet we keep on keeping on, searching for new methods for meaningful connection. Your path toward connecting with your loved one will likely change multiple times throughout their dementia journey, and in an ever-shifting environment, weariness can creep in. It’s important to remember that human connection is vital for a sense of fulfillment and belonging. Grasp it, grieve it, change with it, and embrace it.
Author’s Note: some of my fondest memories with my father during his journey with dementia were the afternoons I spent reading a book to him by our fireplace, painting together outside, or even pretending to play Rummy with him after he’d forgotten how. Making peace with what was unraveling around us was never easy, and most days were incredibly difficult. However, the joy in his eyes when I met him where he was is indescribable. He calmed at the sound of my voice reading aloud to him; he was challenged by the paint, making decisions with his brush; he loved “playing” Rummy with me again, even though we were really just flipping cards over, back and forth. In every version of his reality, it was imperative that I kept finding ways to show up there, too.